GIMME THAT COOCHY.
And by Coochy, I mean the body care line by Classic Erotica. If you’ve never heard of this brand than BOY sit tight cause this stuff is going to blow your mind (I will never apologize for how many clichés I use). Let me first begin by telling you a bit about my body. I am extremely pale and by pale I mean when I’m asked what race I am, I chose “other” and write-in “Translucent.” I reflect the sun off my skin and blind people to the point that I may or may not have caused a car accident. I look at the corner of a table and get a bruise to shine through like I’ve just been in Fight Club match. This light skin also goes hand-in-hand with how sensitive my skin is – I’ve had reactions to lotions and soaps FOR SENSITIVE SKIN. You may as well consider me allergic to the sun because I’ve gotten sun poisoning more times than I can count on both hands and that’s with SPF 100 sun screen applied every 30 minutes. I may as well live under a rock.