Surviving a long distance relationship is never easy, particularly when one or both partners are in the military. Military couples can make it work. Men and women that are willing to give up house and home to defend our countries are exceptional people and are to be commended. With that being said, we realize that military relationships are often difficult to maintain. When it is important enough, “right” enough, and strong enough, they make it work. If you are committed to a military relationship, then you will make it work. It’s all about your commitment. People make it work. Here are some tips to help you survive a military long distance relationship.
1. Do not place blame on the deploying service member.
In most instances, the military person does not have a choice whether or not to deploy and in most instances would much rather stay home.
If you spend the entire time the service member is away complaining about how you were left alone then you will only wind up making everything more difficult for the two of you. Trust that the deployed person is already going through enough stress and does not need you to make it even harder.
2. Stay in contact with your loved one.
Write letters. While emails are faster and more convenient, the personal effort that goes into writing a letter should be appreciated, and it gives your soldier something to keep when there is no access to a computer. Perhaps take a picture of yourself in a sexy outfit. A fun costume like the sexy school girl or naughty nurse is always a classic or just any piece of lingerie as long as it’s sexy!
Use the Internet to communicate. While this won’t always be an option, especially in a war-zone deployment, emails and video chats go a long way in keeping the relationship going during a training period or deployment. Send naughty texts if your solider has access to wifi. Don’t know what to say? Try Dirty Talking and Texting by Lisa Sweet – great resource to start and keep a sexy dialogue going! In any relationship, long-distance or otherwise, communication is important!
3. Stay upbeat and positive when you do get a chance to talk with your loved one.
This is certainly not to say that you should be fake, but you should not make the conversation all about how miserable you are. Remember that the service member is not in any position to be able to lift the burden you feel, and in fact may be dealing with life-threatening situations daily. The fact that you’re a little lonely may pale in comparison to what your loved one is going through. This is your time to be strong and to help your loved one by holding down the fort at home, so to speak.
And if you are lonely, remember, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with – yourself! Masturbation is necessary and vital during any long deployment. Products such as the Tenga Egg for him or the Screaming O Fing O Tips Massager are great because they are small, discreet and disposable!
4. Don’t cheat.
The temptation may be great, especially when you combine the loneliness and frustration you feel with your loved one being gone, but if you find the urge to play the field too great then break off the relationship with the military person before you venture out and start dating other people. Remember that your loved one is serving the country and risking life and limb in order to grant you the freedoms you enjoy. Cheating on someone in this position simply because you’re lonely is a really low thing to do.
The best product we can think of is the We Vibe Wish. This revolutionary new device allows couples to interact sexually while they are thousands of miles away. The We Vibe Wish is a vibrator for her that works remotely through a wifi application so he can control the vibrations she feels no matter where each individual is. You can even save your favorite vibration patterns and use them over and over again!
5. Join a support group and rely on your friends and family until your loved one can return.
Most military installations offer social groups for people who have deployed loved ones, and you may find that joining one of these groups introduces you to many other people in the same situation as you.
Remember that you should still go out and have fun while your loved one is deployed because you don’t want to spend your days brooding over how lonely you are. Military families often form strong support groups for each other when soldiers are deployed, and you’ll meet new friends who will understand exactly how you’re feeling during deployment time. That helps to make those times of distance easier and can strengthen your relationship.
6. Stay busy! Look for volunteer work, get your house cleaned out, or take a few classes. The time will go by quicker if you are engaged in a variety of activities.
Get involved, volunteer, take a class or spend time with other women whose husbands are also deployed. You can participate in a Yoga class, go shopping, or take trips with friends.
7. Schedule private time during non-deployment.
Soldiers can get called away at a moment’s notice, so it’s important to take advantage of whatever time you have and not take it for granted. Make an effort to plan special outings and dates when you have the opportunity to. Step out of your usual routine.
The Good Head Fundamentals Kit will make any going away or reunion special.
8. Listen during discussions regarding deployment.
Your soldier might be reluctant to discuss things that happened on the battlefield and when he does open up, it is important to listen and support him since he is trusting you with difficult subject matter.
9. Send your soldier care packages to feel connected across the ocean.
You can fill it with personal items, such as foot deodorizing powder and wet wipes or make the packages more sentimental with photos from home, handmade keepsakes and freshly baked goodies. Include a journal in the package for you and your soldier to take turns recording love notes, messages and thoughts for a keepsake from your long distance dating period. But aside from their favorite foods and lip balm, don’t forget to include something to take care of what they are really missing – sex with you! Send a high quality lubricant, such as Pjur Eros Bodyglide (which can also double as a hand moisturizer), a masturbator for him (we like the Jack It by Screaming O) or a vibrator for her (Too Cute Vibrator). These products are both small, discreet and inexpensive so they are perfect for care packages.
10. Join special programs if available to help stay in touch.
Some military installations have special programs allowing service members to periodically call loved ones at home for free, even if the service member is temporarily stationed somewhere remote. E-mail is a fantastic means by which to stay connected to your deployed love one, and you should make a point of sending mail out once in a while because most service members agree that although e-mail is great, nothing beats an actual handwritten letter or a care package.
Strong, successful marriages take a lot of work, but this is especially true when the parties involved spend large amounts of time away from each other. Long-distance relationships require even more commitment through the times apart, since you don’t have the benefit of direct intimacy or contact. A relationship with a soldier can be more strenuous because there are inherent occupational hazards that can elevate tension and emotions. Being involved with a deployed soldier requires patience, honesty and dedication.