You learn a lot about sex, bodies, anatomy, and about the companies who make and sell adult toys when you work in the sex toy industry, even if it is just as a sales associate in one of the most amazing family own boutiques in South Jersey. You make these connections with people also in the industry and, eventually, you become a liaison between company and consumer as you have the most contact with them on a regular basis. When I got my Satisfyer Pro Penguin I had more friends and friends of friends reach out to me and ask about it that any other toy I’ve owned– I mean, at one point Amber Rose was able to include it in her monthly box subscription “for free” so it’s a well known product just from that alone. I was excited as well just because I love the little penguin look to it (I’m guilty for occasionally letting aesthetics get the better part of my judgment).
Let me tell you… I’ve never yelled at an inanimate object before like I did this toy. I mean, I really probably would have hurt it’s little penguin heart if it had feelings… or was alive. So first off, the nozzle is boxed shaped (boxed shape????) – yes it is boxed shaped. Of all the air pressure wave toys out there (between different companies and within companies) NONE of them have a boxed shaped nozzle like this penguin does. I know all bodies are different but A BOX?!?!?!?!? It doesn’t have as soft of a silicone head on it like the others – the silicone nozzle is primarily on the inside and it’s very thin so you’re more likely to feel the plastic of the toy when using it. Why would I be more likely to feel like? Because this thing barely made the cut in strength and I had to apply the opening of the nozzle directly to my clit to get a good amount of the “suction.” In fact, I had to use some clitoral arousal sometimes when I was in the mood, but he Penguin AND PORN just weren’t cutting. I could have just switch toys but I am DEDICATED to getting you this information at the sacrifice of my own sex life.
It gets worse. There’s two buttons total: The power button and to higher the intensity are the same button while to lower the intensity is on it’s own. Okay, simple, cool. So I’m looking at this thing and I can feel raised symbols on the buttons, but I cant see them. The light that appears in the middle of the buttons when it’s on? Does nothing. Oh and the best part? Normally you would have the “plus” button on top but they’re reversed! So now every time I try to increase my intensity it does nothing OR lowers it when I’m already on a higher setting (face palm). There is no reason to confuse users when every other product in the market, INCLUDING YOUR OWN BRAND, has them the other way, but to each their own I guess?
Part of me did not even want to write about the Satisfyer Pro Penguin for several reasons. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with majority of their products because of all the ones I own, I like maybe 1 of them and statistically that’s not great. Also, as I noted in my very first blog post, I am aware of them copying other brands, BUT I am aware of the lower prices they office which DO give those of lower economic status an opportunity to experience the air pressure products at this height of their popularity. But as they continue to rip off those other brands (and now there are reports of the owner being not so nice to their female workers/contractors), I am slightly more biased as I write this. Also, these views are TOTALLY my own and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts or views of my store or the owners/my bosses (never thought I’d be writing that, but there’s a 1st for everything!). Although I do not want to discourage you from buying something you may love – I want to be honest in why my views on these products are shifting. If you’re really still that interested in purchasing this product – I can at the very least say that it is at a mid-range price, which means it is better quality than most. For once, I have to agree with their packaging as it is also pretty quiet, which I was not as surprised about after I felt the lame suction on it. Also, it’s very cute (still) and can be a great gift for you or someone else that is willing to try out an air pressure toy or get started into using toys in general.