When potential suitors have asked, “What are you into?” I’ve often replied with “light bondage.” Of course it always followed with “What is that?” so I was always prepared with some small examples that were easy to process but spoke novels. The best example I’ve given is restraints because both beginners and those well established in the BDSM community have dabbled in bondage or restraints at some point. I’ve used ties and scarves, ropes, metal handcuffs and fabric cuffs and my favorite thus far – a bed restraint.
I got my hands on the Sex & Mischief Bed Bondage Restraint Kit and Lance and I did not even have to say a word before we were assembling it and using it. And by not say a word, I also mean we jumped right into one of my favorite fantasies – consensual non-consent. First off, there is NO time wasted in the so-called “assembling” I mentioned. Lay it out over your bed first to make sure the length fits the size of your bed. After that, all you have to do is slip it in between your mattress and box spring (you might want to move whatever you’re hiding under there first) and pull it up to the top of your bed and you’re all set – you do not need to lift up your mattress or have bedposts! It adjusts in the middle straps the cuffs, so if you need to tighten or loosen it up, do your best to do that before you slide it under. The cuffs can go at the tops and bottom of the bed (I shaped position) or you can put them on the side of the bed (X shaped position) and they both work well if you’re laying on your stomach or back. Lance and I have no major complaints, but there are some specific characteristics that you should know when shopping for your own bed restraint.
The cuffs of the S&M set are suuuuuper soft – like, baby blanket soft. They’re great for beginners who may not be as interested in a small amount of pain (like that from some ropes or tougher/stiffer material). They’re also easy to be placed in with and fastened by Velcro, so you have tons of room for adjustment if you need it. But, when I wasn’t thinking about it, I was able to loosen myself out of one hand restraint – probably because I got a little sweaty. It did not “break out,” but I can imagine this becoming a problem if you don’t want to stop to readjust the cuffs. I actually own a pair of man bound cuffs from Sportsheets (the makers of S&M), and I prefer those cuffs to the baby soft ones because they haven’t given in on me and loosened up (and I’ve had them for years with no wear and tear in sight). Speaking of wear and tear, another characteristic is with it being slightly cheaper material, I did feel like I almost accidentally ripped the cuffs apart – I’m not crazy, we both heard a sound like it was ripping. The Sportsheets’ brand Under the Bed Restraint System are only about $20 more and have that tougher, better quality that endure rougher play and assemble the same exact way as the S&M version. Especially if you are planning on making the next Exorcist movie – I’d be lying if I did not say we goofed around with them in a non-sexual way.
Another important thing I do want to bring up is that this is something I do with someone I trust completely – 2000% completely. I would not only avoid acting upon my fantasy or using any of my restraints, but I wouldn’t even mention it to people I did not feel like I could not trust. For me, it is not only that I use these with someone who knows when to stop or release me when I am in distress or out of character, but who can also communicate with me when they’re overwhelmed or – because I’m a stubborn and not a quitter – they know I should be telling them stop, but I won’t say it. Lance and I may have not spoken many words while assembling the restraints, but we talked about it extensively prior to using them. It does not even have to be a fantasy, but just physical discomfort from the restraints. I can’t stress enough how much communication is important in a partnership, especially when using bondage materials and toys.
Stay sexual!
