Lady Genevieve Reviews Temptasia Elvira

Lady Genevieve

Full disclosure, I am writing this about 9 weeks postpartum and, although I have been cleared and have had penetrative sex, that doesn’t mean I am where I was pre-pregnancy or pre-vaginal birth.  And prior to that, I already didn’t love using dildos or dongs or honestly anything insertable toy wise (with the exception of a few things). So why did I choose to go with a dong for this review? Because having an inexpensive, yet silky smooth silicone dildo is still a good goal to have as a toy collector. Am I right? Think about it!  You can use a dildo for penetrative purposes vaginally, anally, or even use it orally.  It helps bring out fantasies for people who want an extra partner without the person attached. In some instances, it can allow us to sexually please our partner in another way that otherwise we may not be able to with the parts we were born with (and there’s nothing wrong with having a teammate in our night stand and dresser drawers either). Today, I am talking about the Temptasia Elvira dong!

blush temptasia elviraDong vs. Dildo

So, technically there is a different between a dong and dildo.  Dildo’s have ‘balls’ while dongs.. just don’t.  Honestly I prefer dongs because 1) although my partner is a penis-owner, doesn’t mean I enjoy seeing realistic toys myself. For me personally (seriously I cannot speak for ANYONE else), it weirds me out.  I like the Elvira because not only is it ball-less, but it’s pretty non-phallic in shape. One could argue it has some resemblance to the curve/head of a penis but there really isn’t much to that thought.  It does have a random divot at the top, but from what I can tell it isn’t functional (it doesn’t squirt out any lube or anything).

Finger Method

A piece of advice I give to customers, and I tell our associates to tell them, is when shopping for a dildo and looking for the perfect girth, use the finger method.  Take your fingers and gather them together in the size of the girth you’d be comfortable (or interested) in using.  I would say my LIMIT is 3 fingers … and I have small fingers… so really not that much.  The Elvira is probably closer to all 5 of mine in girth, but my size finger – not some someone with with hands like a basketball or football player. I’m talking LITTLE DAINTY HANDS. So yea, I was sweating when I realized that it was bigger than usual for me for any type of toy.

I decided I needed to take the Elvira on my own for the first few times to review because sex after baby (after vaginal birth) is slightly uncomfortable and certainly wouldn’t have been pleasant during sexy time with King Big Cream.  I also decided I really had to work myself up in other ways before using it because I wanted (read: needed) my body to relax. Also, the amount of lube I put on myself and the Elvira was absolutely ridiculous, but it helped ease my mind a bit about. I think I stopped breathing for a minute in trying to work that thing into my vagina (probably not advice I would give anyone – it just happened naturally). Ultimately, not my favorite feeling in the world and again, that can be based off of being in a postpartum body where technically I am still recovering (birth is traumatic to your body regardless if it was an easy birthing process).  HOWEVER!!! With the curve, I was able to put pressure on my g-spot which does feel good when I am in the rare mood for internal stimulation. The best part about the Elvira is that it is a simple dong – no frills, no vibrations, just a silicone mold.

I did at some point bring the Elvira in the shower with me to test out its suction cup abilities and I almost UNALIVED myself to get that effer off my fricken shower wall.  I’ve put it on my table to test it out and it was pretty strong then but holy crap did it gain super-dong strength in the shower.

Overall, the Elvira isn’t a bad product – I mean there isn’t much to actually complain about as far as its functions go (i.e. there is none compared to a vibrator).  It’s got a strong, suction cup base, able to fit into virtually any strap-on you may want to use, and made of body-safe and hygienic silicone that you can boil or sanitize in your dishwasher. The other great thing about dongs and dildos is that they are not made for any specific body-type. They can go into various holes and with it’s color, it won’t necessarily make any one person feel like it isn’t for them right off the bat. The name, however, definitely for those interested in sexy goth women with big boobies (me, it me). Don’t miss the opportunity to check out the Elvira yourself because this one is VERY popular in our stores and despite my preferences – I can still very much understand why.

Stay Sexual!


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