Satisfyer has gotten a lot of my time recently for several reasons: decent quality of products at a decent price and now they’re expanding (you know my chubby little fingers will get a hold of their new line of vibes and kegel balls one of these days but unfortunately today is not that day). Although I have found quite a few products I’ve loved, I’ve also dislike some too. One of them … I didn’t even want near my vagina for fear of stabbing my cervix (for those of you who didn’t pay attention in health class or don’t know how to use Google, it’s the entrance to the uterus.). A cervix can be so sensitive that when touched it can make it’s owner dizzy or even cause them to pass out. And I can’t believe I’m about to write this but…. I actually inserted the pointy Satisfyer toy in me and survived!
When I first showed the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples toy to Lance, he said the same exact thing I’ve been thinking since it’s release – “ISN’T THAT GONNA HURT?!” I just looked at him and he knew it had to be done – for research! It took me a couple of days, maybe a week, before I even wanted to look at it. The first day I used it I actually tried to use it as a normal clitoral vibe without inserting… also I was desperate. The internal part is pretty flexible so I thought “maybe I can try and use it like the Pro Traveler,” and I wasn’t totally wrong. Obviously it’s not meant to be used like that at all BUT I was able to find one use out of it by bending the insert and holding it upside down. It did the job, but it wasn’t as fun or as easy as I expected. A week later, Lance and I finally got around to using the Satisfyer as it was intended – but with LOTS and LOTS of lube. I was able to put it in without it hurting, but not my concern switched to Lance’s … lance (PUNS FOR DAYS OVER HERE) and thought now he might get stabbed. Fortunately, he was fine and there was no physical pain associated with using it but there was disappointment.
The 2nd time I gave the 4 Couples a chance (btw, such a weird name to use so I’ll probably keep calling it the Satisfyer or “it” from here on out) I was able to actually use it longer than I had used the Tryst and the Multifun, but it still didn’t last very long at all. It did make sex with Lance feel snugger (first off, I can’t believe that’s a word – Word corrected to snugger) for both of us, which wasn’t bad at all! But it seemed like we could only really use it in missionary position – this means: less positions than both the Tryst and Multifun and definitely made for only heterosexual couples (BOOOOOO!) so less consumers to purchase it. The vibes were okay – and yes it vibrates too – for Lance and myself, but it was so bulky that it hurt me a little when we would try to make missionary more fun (for the record, that’s not our go-to position at all). Also, the pressure wave nozzle WAS NOWHERE NEAR MY CLIT SO WHAT’S THE POINT? I tried to adjust it with no luck. The 3rd time it was used, it lasted even less time because we did try to use it in a different position with no luck. Any other positions ended up with Lance unintentionally pushing it out so it just verified my hypothesis that it can only be used while in missionary.
The Satisfyer’s Pro 4 Couples is a very interesting couples toy in their Pro line – the white and gold line they came out with last year. It is a 2 in 1 toy with pressure waves AND vibrations. It’s very oddly shaped with the internal/insert-able part looking and feeling very pointy (yikes!) and the external part that resembles that of an elongated egg. Maybe a rigid sperm cell??? Yea, I definitely don’t necessarily like the idea of inserting “sperm” into my as a toy, it’s just weird. It has 10 vibration settings and the pressure waves have 11 levels – at least Satisfyer is consistent with that because I can sit here and say that’s a great feature! The buttons to turn it on/off, the vibration on/off, and the buttons to increase or decreas the intensity levels right on the bad of the bulky part and can be covered and are difficult to change when in use. Anything like this I feel like should have an external remote to assist in changing settings and Satisfyer has really not gotten on board with this idea. HELLLLOOOO, IS ANYONE LISTENING? It’s mostly silicone, but does have some ABS plastic (just the gold parts). It has magnetic recharging capabilities so obviously waterproof (not submersible), but also consistent with being loud if water or any liquid gets into the suction nozzle. Satisfyer keeps trying to sell that the internal part puts pressure on your G-spot, but it barely does a thing aside from making my vagina feel snugger (ugh that word just looks SO weird) without doing any kind of kegel-like movements.
Honestly, the couple’s toys have been so disappointing for me, but again, it’s all opinion. If you want to give it a try it is decently priced compared to other couples toys, but I would still rather spend the money on something that has better features, adjustable to my body and different positions, and a better warranty in case something does malfunction. Ultimately, I wouldn’t recommend this toy.
Stay Sexual Scoopers!