Alright TikTok, let’s get some things straight – I don’t know how you found some of these products or if any of these people are paid actors, but please speak with me before starting a new trend. I feel like a lie has been released into the world and it is connected to a brand that I absolutely love and now I feel like I am some sort of backstabber writing this blog. Evolved does come out with some very interesting products – almost to the point that they are so weird they are questionable in the functionality category. For the most part – THEY DO! They are unique and intriguing and can be welcoming to new “comers” and veterans alike with these designs. Noticed how I said “for the most part”….? That’s because there is one product they have recently released that has been flying off our shelves and I cannot for the life of me figure out WHY.
Can the Show Stopper Do it All?
“Over 70 Thrilling Combinations of Pleasure” they say right on the box – the Show Stopper is supposed to have it all (except for any suction/air pulse features). It vibrates, twirls, and thrusts all in once. It has triangle disc and a nub that pounds away at your clitoris like it is a punching bag. Oh suuuuuure, the shaft and the clitoral stimulant have 8 different speeds and functions while the thruster has 3 of its own, but you throw every single one of things on at once and it will cause more confusion than pleasure – at least in my experience. As I normally do with any vibrators, I mess with the button settings to make sure I have them at the speed/function I like, then I proceed to insert it as it does help with the experience. Already I wasn’t loving it and not because I normally don’t like vaginal vibrators. This time it was because I didn’t feel like I could feel a single thing coming from the clitoral stimulant and I usually bank on those to help me get off with rabbits. To add to the disappointment, I had trouble figuring out which button controlled what once it was down below and I was trying to turn on the thruster. Yes, they do have symbols, but they are not raised enough if you are not familiar with their positions. The thruster is supposed to be resistant to pressure. For example, if you squeeze the thruster with your own hands, it continues to move. That was, in fact, NOT the case with me and my warrior like vagina. It stopped (or rather barely moved to begin with) so I pulled it out to see what was wrong and almost got punched in the face (IS THIS WHY IT IS CALLED THE SHOW STOPPER?!)…… It lasted 5 seconds before I changed my mind and said nope. This is the first time I can and will honestly sit here and say I could not go through with trying to orgasm with a machine so overwhelming in such a negative way.
HOWEVER, it keeps selling. And people who have purchased it and come back into the store have said wonderful things about it. This is why I always say that my opinion is just one perspective – what I love, someone else may hate. But this thing, people loving it, it just baffles me to no end. For those of you still interested in getting your hands this Danity Kane wanna-be product, I will still tell you more about it. As I mentioned, it does have a tons of different speeds and functions which really does give many combinations for you to choose from; silicone; waterproof and submersible; USB rechargeable and it has the infamous 5 year warranty that Evolved provides with every product. It does come in a nice teal-ish color, which is a nice change from all the pinks and purples. It is louder than usual due to the thruster, but without it on, it is pretty quiet. This is on the higher priced side of Evolved, but still mid-ish range for any toys on the market and it does come from a company that provides everyone with great quality products (I cannot and will not knock them for this).
So again I say – TikTok and other social media platforms… please seek guidance from us professional toy reviewers before sending people on these blind trust purchasing frenzies. Do it for me and my vagina, please.