Before I found myself taking the route of human sexuality as my career path, my passions were actually in sea life – more specifically sharks and rays. Had it not been for math and physics, I probably would have stuck with it, but I can recognize my weaknesses and there was no real fixing that.. ah well, I still love them, just not as close as I would prefer….
Anyway, you’re probably wondering why I started talking about sharks and what it has to do with today’s blog. Well, I’m glad you asked! Even though I might not be actively snorkeling with Great Whites, I can certainly still go snorkeling with King Big Cream! In fact, we don’t even have to leave the bedroom to do so with Screaming O’s SnorkelO! This product was (I believe) previously discontinued by the manufacturer, possibly the distributer we use? And they recently brought it back due to high requests for its return.
As you can imagine, I slightly groaned at the idea of having to try yet another viral product because I find myself not enjoying myself as much despite the entertainment y’all are receiving from my pain (the whole lot of you are sadists I swear… but that makes me a masochist doesn’t it? sigh….). I did get a little excited because I couldn’t wait to see Cream’s reaction to laying his eyes on it. Spoiler alert: I sent him a picture of it so I screwed myself over cause I have NO actual idea of how he reacted… way to go impulsive Lady G.
We Want the Deets!
Alright, alright, I’ll get to it. First off, trying to adjust the snorkel was a little difficult. Despite the tubing being flexible, because it was curved in the packaging, it made it a little difficult to adjust it and is still pretty tough at the sides. I would recommend making adjustments well in advanced to potentially using it. Watching Cream put the snorkel on his face made me happy as a clam (hehe) because he was just sitting there watching tv and I could hear him breathing through it. He also had the vibrator turned on, which I was surprised because it was SO QUIET. The vibrator is disposable so that you can continue to use the snorkel even after the battery has died, so that’s cool. But our question was “What if you want another vibrator?” The only vibrator that I feel like could fit or be a replacement would be one from the Screaming O Vibrating Couples Ring which is the same exact size and vibrator the SnorkelO uses. Cream swears something bigger could fit because his thumbnail just barely fit inside the silicone holder, however, even the smallest vibrators we currently have seemed way too big both in length and girth – and yes, this is where size DOES matter, thank YOUUUU. Not saying it’s impossible, but we certainly don’t carry something as a replacement. We did determine this MIGHT be helpful while I’m sitting on his face, but the fact is, its a 50/50 chance it would also hurt more than help. So there was some caution when we decided to actually use it…
No, No, Wo We Want the REAL Deets!
Okay, I’m getting to it! SO… finally, we got to using the SnorkelO and well, it started off alright. Realistically, the vibrator part of this thing doesn’t fit my body HOWEVER, the vibrators weren’t bad as far as giving a different type of stimulation during oral. If the vibrator was going to fit exactly on my clit, Cream would have had to been lower down and just focused on my vulva, which I don’t mind, but the party really isn’t there for me. I felt like things were going swimmingly (hehehehe), but Cream then tapped on my leg to get off – you know, like wrestles use to tap out in a match? YeS tHaT’s HoW wE cOmMuNiCaTe To StOp. When I got off, he said the part that was going up his nose and at the base of his nose was starting to hurt him if I moved a little and I wasn’t on his face for more than 2 minutes at that point. So we switched to me on my back and well…
Cream made the mistake of asking how he looked and I started laughing hysterically. He looks like a poorly drawn early years Disney character and I couldn’t stop thinking of Pete (the mean cat looking thing), but with a red clown nose. Cream dived back down to try and test out the SnorkelO as it was probably intended to be, and except from the pain, it was pretty much the same feeling – if it was off my clit it was TeRrIbLe, but I feel like it took away from the enjoyment I usually have from oral. So I instructed Cream to take it off and we finished what we started. I tried to see if the vibrator, both in and out of the holder, would do anything for me and it didn’t. I was ready to just toss it, but Cream decided to keep it… hm….
So, What’s the Scoop?
My final thoughts, believe it or not, are mixed! Realistically, it does what it’s supposed to – help you breathe while scuba diving down unda (please read that in an Australia accent I’m BEGGING you), but I didn’t get much stimulation from it that provided an end result in combination with the oral stimulation. I did find enjoyment in the laugher it provided us both prior to using it and during because it was funny and sex and other forms of intimacy CAN be funny and laughable – no need to always be so serious! I didn’t get the opportunity to try it on him cause boogies…. yes I am a mom and I will deal with it with my child but I stop at capable adult. I imagine it could work, but I also find ways to breathe through any blow jobs I give him. All in all, this is a pretty inexpensive product and can be used as it is intended or as a gag gift which is perfect and is technically a universal kind of product despite being advertised toward… what do they call it…. muff? diving? Ew. But don’t let that deter you from an experience you may actually enjoy!
Stay Sexual Scoopers!