Satisfyer Men Vibrator

Lady Genevieve

Okay, I am not sure will end up being a good example of “read the directions” or a lapse in my attention to detail. After you read through this, you be the judge (ooohhh I sound like a crime podcast right now). Alright so one of my favorite things to do is get products for King Big Cream to review! I am proud of his learning journey he’s had with me in not only playing/inspecting every inch of a product, but also knows what to look for and what details should really be highlighted (also, I love seeing the look on his face when he gets something new for himself). This time it was the Satisfyer Men Vibrator and there was his usual excitement shown (half-assed smile, eyes judging, him pretending like he doesn’t care but I know he does – Scorpios, am I right?). It was only a day or two later when he eagerly say “wanna get the new toy?” – he’ll probably say he wasn’t THAT eager but he doesn’t realize how much his voice gives away.

The Kingdom has Fallen?

Satisfyer Men Vibrator

So, I pull it out of it’s box, lube it up using Wicked’s Caramel flavored lube, and turn it on… and crickets (from him, not from the toy, it was pretty loud). I tried moving it in a massage motion, squeezing the silicone sleeve a bit to get a different feel, but it just felt bleh. BLEH IS NOT A REACTION I AM USE TO SO THE PANIC SETS IN. In an attempt to improve this situation, I made the decision to move the sleeve to his balls and ‘cupped’ them in the vibrator and that actually gave a much better response than when it was over his penis. He did direct me on when to move or change up the vibrations, but after sometime, we decided to toss it aside and just have some P-I-V sexapalooza. We kind of talked about it, but mostly how it didn’t feel like we were using it right. I actually felt the inside after and realize there was a weird lump and slight dip in the middle of the shaft of the vibrator. I felt like that was an odd place to put a vibrating lump. Cream called it – it is a glans vibrator – we weren’t using it correctly (it happens to the best of us). What does it mean for you penis owners out there? It means it is ONLY intended to vibrator on just the tip (hehehe BUT SERIOUSLY)/head of a penis. It is not intended for you to go past a certain point in the sleeve. You know how I found it? READING THE VERY FINE AND CONFUSING PARAGRAPHS ON A BOX IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES. Nothing against the difference in languages, but Satisfyer does this thing where they have 1 sentence and then it’s that exact sentence in 389 other languages making the font tiny. How about instead of calling it a Men Vibrator … we call it… I don’t know… A GLANS VIBRATOR. I now wonder how many penis-owner products I’ve dealt with and used incorrectly because it wasn’t an obvious or even properly worded as a glans vibrator.

But, is it worth it?

Satisfyer Men Vibrator

I know we did slightly use it correctly before knowing, but I think it wasn’t Cream’s cup of tea in general. He just didn’t like the patterns (shocker) and he didn’t mind them on his testicles, but his personal preference is using the full sleeve masturbators (next to me of course). The one thing I will say is that there are many reviews available in favor of this product, so take my (Cream’s) opinion as just that. This product is silicone, rechargeable, and waterproof. It’s actually fairly priced (in the mid-range) and I would say this is a great toy for a beginner or even someone who wants just a glans specific toy to add to their collection. I prefer this material to the skin-like sleeves because they are more hygienic and easier to clean. Also, did I mention that Satisfyer now has a 15-year warranty one their products? I think Evolved’s 5 year policy is more than enough (and honestly I feel like lifetime policies aren’t red-taped to death), but 15 is pretty significant. I’d say from all of this information, I’d still recommend giving this vibe a shot if you want to have glans specific fun!

Stay Sexual!

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