In spirit of Masturbation Month, we have been on a quest to find the strangest ways that people masturbate.
These are the top ten strangest vibrators, dildos and masturbation devices.
1. The 21 Grams Dildo Urn. 21 Grams is a memory-box that allows a widow to go back to the intimate memories of a lost beloved one. After a passing, the missing of intimacy with that person is only one aspect of the pain and grief. This forms the base for 21 Grams. The urn offers the possibility to conserve 21 grams of ashes of the deceased and displays an immortal desire. Unfortunately, Fantasy Gifts will not be carrying this item.
2. The Moby Huge 3 Foot Tall Super Dildo. This Dildo stands just under 3 feet tall and weighs more than 50 pounds. Moby may very well be the BIGGEST dildo in the world! We aren’t quite sure how it would be possible for anyone to use this toy for anything but a prop without causing major damage or a trip to the emergency room. We try to keep our range of realistic cock at whopping 8.5 inches (total length).
3. Deep Dickin Derek 12 Inch Ejaculating Dildo. This formidable dildo is going to take you some patience and lube to accommodate its full length and girth. Once you have conquered it’s behemoth size, users can reward themselves with the ultimate payoff. Squeeze the balls and Derek will ejaculate on you or in you. The balls hold about half an ounce of liquid, and are easy to fill. Just place the tip in your liquid of choice, depress the balls, and release. Derek is fully loaded and ready to go!
4. Comic Inspired Super Hero Dong. I really don’t know how I feel about this, guys. Doc Johnson has a line of Superhero themed dildos inspired by famous Marvel and DC Superheroes. On one hand, the thought of getting Mjolnir shoved up your ass or getting man handled by the Hulk is terrifying, on the other hand, it’s kind of hot. They’re all made out of 100% Platinum Premium Silicone and different lengths and errr girths. They come in different variations like Rock Hard Man, the Amazing Web Shooter and Captain Cock.
5. The EZ Rider Rocker Ball. This hopper reminds me of the inflatable hopper balls that I had as a kid. These balls are very popular among dildo machine enthusiasts. It’s a manual way to get that thrust out of your dildo. The ball lets you bounce your way to natural feeling orgasms.
6. Animal Tail Plugs. Animal tail butt plugs are allegedly, a highly erotic tool for kinky play and come with bushy, furry tails. Insert the plug and your lover has a wonderful tail that you can admire and watch wag as she parades around at your command.
7. The Screaming Taco. Although we do carry this handheld taco stroker, the reason it made our list was because of it’s strange incorporation as a food item stroking device. But we love it. Make self love more fun with Paco’s Taco, an ultra soft open faced stroker that puts pleasure in the palm of your hand! Reusable with Paco’s Sauce lubricant included, Paco Taco satisfies every time simply open the box, apply lube liberally and wrap around your meat. The Screaming Taco is our featured product for Cinco De Mayo!
8. The Sports Fanatic Stroker. For die hard football fans there is only one way to stroke – with the help of the Fantasy Football Stroker. Both ends screw off to reveal an anus on one side and a vagina on the other. Game time will never be the same again.
9. The Tenga Egg. Our next stop on this tour is the Tenga Egg. It’s an egg made out of some kind of “revolutionary material” that allows you to pour some kind of extra thick jelly in to. What makes it so “revolutionary” is the fact that once it’s placed over your penis, it can then be stretched over the length of the shaft. The Tenga Egg actually has an impressive pedigree behind it and it is promoted heavily by a guy that will surely never be a household name, Masanobu Sato. Sato is the 2 time champion of San Francisco’s yearly Masturbate-a-thon. In 2008, Sato set a world record for the longest masturbation session, clocking in at 9 hours and 33 minutes. In 2009, he broke his own record by lasting 9 hours and 58 minutes.
10. Palm Pal. And our final entry of our top ten strangest masturbation devices is the Palm Pal personal stroker. There’s a world of difference between a sexless man drunkenly stating that he would want nothing more out of life than a disembodied female mouth that could orally pleasure him at any time, and actually owning a disembodied female mouth that could orally pleasure him at anytime. Oh, that’s why. Well, if you’re deepest darkest sexual fantasy is to be sucked off by a Sandworm from Dune then this is your best bet. That thing looks like it’s made of nightmares. We think it comes from the David Lynch line of sex toys. Available in a Vagina, Mouth and Ass-shaped-these masturbators are as lifelike as they come.