Anal August is here, making it a great opportunity for beginners to learn how to explore anal play safely and comfortably, either on your own or with a partner.

• Start slow. Don’t just jump into anal sex, check in with yourself and/or your partner to make sure this is exactly what you want to try. Communication is always going to be your first step when exploring with a partner in any sexual scenario and changing your mind is absolutely acceptable. Because the sphincter muscles are intended to be tight, you’ll want to work on relaxation – take a bath, get in the mood, get in a comfortable position, and gently massage the anus with a finger (or tongue if this is more appealing) and don’t force any type of insertion at the beginning. This may take a few times to begin to feel comfortable to furthering your exploration.
• Lube is a necessity. The anus is not self lubricating and trying to have anal sex without lubrication can cause discomfort and even tears. This means, we also recommend using a relaxer (rather than a desensitizer). Relaxers do exactly what they sound like they do – relax your sphincter. Allowing for easier insertion and not many anal lubricants include this in their formulas. The reason to use a relaxer rather than a desensitizer is because if things start to feel uncomfortable or begin to hurt, you will want to feel it so you can pause and either change your approach or stop all together.
• Without a base, without a trace. You’ll only want to use plugs where the base of the plug is larger than the thickest point of the plug. Anything with a handle or a ring, like anal beads, to hold onto will also work.
• If you use it for anal, it should stay that way. Although we love us some toys with universal uses, if you use a toy for anal, it really should be kept for the purpose only. Despite all the cleaner and virtually non-porous materials available, there are still ways for bacteria to find its way into a sex toy and cause infections. Ideally, you should also use a condom if sharing toys to help prevent STIs as well.
• Anal sex is for everyone! Pegging (when a vulva-owner uses a strap-on to penetrate a penis-owner’s anus) is becoming more openly explored with heterosexual couples. Prostate massaging (or milking) not only feels great for penis-owners, but can potentially help prevent prostate cancer and other diseases. Vulva-owners can even orgasm through anal sex as the internal part of the clitoris can be stimulated at this angle.

You can always read up on the different positions, anal play for men, and how-to prostate massage with our educational book selection and even find some kits in-store and online!