Have you tried our Pure Chat yet? It allows you to talk to one of our sexperts in real time! f no one is available, you can still ask your question and you’ll receive an email response.  We’ve been looking at some of our Pure Chat questions and featuring them in a regular column we’re calling Between the Sheets.  Here’s a question from Robbie:

My wife want a very specific size and girth vibrating dildo, but haven’t been successful. Am I the only one having this issue?

Thanks for your question Robbie! Short answer is yes and no, but that’s not helpful so let’s talk it. You’d think with the bazillion different types of toys and dildos out there, you’d easily find the one you want – but it’s not that easy for a few reasons:

Too Many Options, Not Enough Clarity

One of those reasons is that there are SO many manufacturers out there (including unknown/no-name ones) that are constantly creating different lines and products for those lines that the sex toy industry is truly overwhelming – even for us buyers and store owners! To add to this fact, they also name or describe products in a way that can be confusing to normal consumers. An example would be an 8 inch dildos with balls: the products might be 8 inches overall, but the balls make up 1-2 inches of that height making the insertable portion 6-7 inches. That also may or may not include the suction cup base (if it has one) – basically when you search for something by inches, it may only be giving you the overall length and not the insertable initially. The same can go for circumference or diameter (also two different measurements if you weren’t good at math like me). If they put this measurement on the box or in the description, you might get only one and not the other. Also, there is the insertable sizing and overall (which would include the balls and possibly suction cup base). So yea, you need to do more investigating than you probably intended on doing.

Another reason is that despite the access we have to the internet, there are keywords that are used for almost Every. Single. Product. Making it near impossible to find the exact thing. You type in ‘vibrator dildo‘ you might get that, or you’ll get a website that sells both. Add in the desired inches (insertable or overall), and you’ll get results… for everything. As ‘smart’ as the internet may seem, those keywords are used so often, it can be incredibly difficult to search on your own. I even tried using ChatGPT (I know please don’t come for me) to see what it could pull, but it couldn’t give me anything “due to the nature of my request”.

Vibes Changing Vibes

And speaking of vibrations – once you add this feature, the diameter is likely going to increase due to the motor needing a space to be held. Yes, some vibrators are at the base of the toy, but if you wanted power behind it, it may not feel as strong as a motor that is in the shaft. You add more materials like silicone, that can also muffle the sounds, but sometimes the vibrations as well.

You Still Have Options!

What I have found when others are experiencing the same thing is helping find suggestions on adjusting size expectations as best as possible. We get that the heart wants what the heart wants and all you want to do is please your partner in this search, and we do have to recognize sometimes check boxes create disappointment. If something is too large circumference wise & you find it painful to adjust to a larger vibrating dildo, we might recommend adding something like a vibrating cock ring to a non-vibrating dildo or utilizing a bullet vibe when and where possible. Sometimes the inches on the boxes are rounded up or down, so if you want to visualize comfort, you can also use the finger measuring method. Use fingers to measure an older beloved toy (make sure if you – the partner – is going to look for it, to measure the same product with your fingers). This will at least help visualize sizing for those who can’t look at numbers and visualize it (again, me). Another final suggestion might be consider making your own with the Clone-A-Willy kit! I’ve seen creators use that kit in their own ways to make exactly what they wanted or needed and it would be 100000% unique!

So, to truly answer your question, you’re not the only one who has ran into this issue and being too specific can make it difficult or near impossible to find what you want so you may need to adjust.

I hope this helps, and of course, stay tuned for more action Between The Sheets!