There are plenty of fun sex-related holidays and celebratory months and Anal August is no different! Booty play certainly still gives plenty of people a roller coaster emotions when they hear about it ranging from absolutely intrigued to absolutely not – but (pun intended) there is so much more to butt stuff than just penetration! Let us guide you through this gentle journey of butt stuff!

Communication vs. Consent

Before anyone begins anything, we have to remember that communication and consent are two very different things. We can communicate to our partners that we may have an interest in trying anal play, but that does not mean in the moment (or next future moment) will they be consenting to trying it. Always communicate desires, expectations and boundaries before moving forward. Be sure to always check in with your partner about their desire to continue engaging in any type of play, not just anal sex. Comfort is an important key to opening up to and potentially enjoying any type of anal play, so if you are uncomfortable, it may not be the right time to try – or you may never feel comfortable enough to try and that is okay, too!

Squeaky Clean?

Part of your conversation about expectations may include worrying about poop and you should be realistic – yes, there may be some traces on you or your partner’s hands, toys, or penis after certain types of play, but that is normal! If you are truly worried about cleaning up a bit before some pre-planned play, you can always use a douche filled with water to wash out those traces as best as possible. We don’t necessarily recommend using a douche from the pharmacy because it comes with a saline solution which might actually cause you to cancel your plans – sometimes they clean out way too effectively!

Them Cheeks Be Cheekin’

One of the best parts about our butts is that regardless of who we are or how we define ourselves, our butts are an erogenous zone! And I am not just talking about your chocolate starfish – I’m talking about your cheeks! Focus on your partner’s cheeks as a form of foreplay: give them a massage, a slight smack, kiss or bite them while you appreciate the view you are getting. Nothing says sexy more than taking your time and allowing your partner to relax into a state of comfort where they may want to go further.

Slow And Steady

One of the first bits of advice you will hear from anyone in this industry is to start slow. Starting slow can look like a few things or different stages – let me explain. We always tell first timers, even if it is your desire to try with a partner, to try with yourself first! It will allow you to figure out what sensation you like, what might help relax you, and if you are ready to include your partner to play. Use a vibrating toy on the outside of your anus to help relax those muscles and ease into penetration, if that is the route you plan on taking! Use anal trainers to help get your body used to your sphincter being relaxed or use toys that are no more than 2 fingers big. The more comfortable you feel, the easier it will be to go bigger (if you desire) or know your absolutely limit.

Lube Is A Necessity, Not An Option!

We could make a million arguments on why lube should always be included in the bedroom, but when it comes to anal, it shouldn’t be an option, rather a requirement. Your rectum does not naturally lubricate and with constant friction comes potential for pain and not the good kind! Silicone lube is great because it does last much longer than water-based, but you do have to be careful when using with silicone toys. There are thicker water-based lubricants as well for the purpose of anal, but you still may have to reapply more often than not.

Desensitizer exists, but are not recommended for anal use. Why? Because you should be able to feel what is going on down there and if something is wrong. We often suggest using relaxers as they do not cause you to lose sensation rather help your anus.. well, relax!

A Gentle Journey

Similar to any type of sexual play, primarily with a partner, should be a gentle journey when you are first starting out. Just remember not to feel rushed or forced – you are in control of your own body. Of course, our associates at Fantasy Gifts are always available to help answer any questions or provide some additional guidance in your journey to ur-anus.