Lady Genevieve Reviews Massage Products

Lady Genevieve

It’s been a very long time since I’ve done a blog solely on massage products and certainly sometime since I’ve done anything with candles. So I am SO excited to get to re-explore this area with a few products that have been constantly asked about and very popular with our customers! The one thing to remember about massage products in general is that massages can be or everyone! There is no need to involved the thoughts of gender, sexual preference, relationship status or the thought of sex in general into it’s use. massages can be purely for relaxation and done as a way to help relieve pain and stress. Yes, it can be a bridge to sexy time or count as foreplay but only if you want it too!

Massage Candles

kama sutra halloween massage candle variances
Kama Sutra Halloween Massage Candles

We’ve had massage candles for a while and all varying types within brands within and between manufacturers. Recently we’ve been really focused on candles from Kama Sutra and Earthly Body because they have truly withstood the test of time on our shelves, bringing back customers and acquiring new interests in massage candles and wax play.

Kama Sutra has released mini candles that are TSA friendly being only 1.7 ounces and feel and smell really good. They also release seasonal candles that fit a specific holiday and hen we found out that they were releasing pumpkin spice scented Halloween Massage Candles – we all almost died and went to Halloween/Pumpkin Spice heaven (or whatever floats your boat)!! When Kama Sutra releases these smaller candles it is one specific scent with 4 different sayings including: Wanna Bone? I Wanna Suck Your…, Eat Me and A Broom Isn’t The Only Thing I Can Ride. We almost had to order an additional set-up because we weren’t sure if employee would start buying them all out to collect them (because it’s me, I would do that). When I got home, I immediately got to lighting it and told Cream I needed his services. Not only did this little candle create a cute light ambiance with a wonderful smell, but King Big Cream and I didn’t have to wait too long to have a good amount melted to use on him! I had Cream lay down on a blanket we kind of don’t care about (yes, wax play can potentially get messy so be prepared). He wasn’t sure what to expect so he jumped a little when I poured it on him initially but he said it actually wasn’t hot at all, it just startled him! In trying to remember my experience with it before, it didn’t turn back to wax immediately which was great! As it dried, there was a slight waxy feel on Cream’s back that we did need to scrub off, but it certainly didn’t have to be scraped off. Over all, I give this product a 4 out of 5 flames and Cream and I would use it again (if I don’t just burn it for the smell and the play with the wax myself). Keep in mind – this massage candle is not kissable, lickable or edible – it is JUST for massage.

Earthly Body Edible Massage Candle
Earthly Body Edible Massage Candle in Pineapple

The next candle I had chosen to use is our Earthly Body Edible Massage Candles. Made with ingredients such as hemp seed and soy, they are natural and safe to ingest (but I wouldn’t recommend just shoveling this into your mouth for a snack). We have 6 different scents (flavors?) that we sell: Banana, Mango, Pineapple, Strawberry, Cherry and Watermelon. I went with the Pineapple because I knew Cream would be cool with trying that flavor (scent?) when I had him lick it off of me (hehehehe). Similar to the Kama Sutra candles, it gives off a cute little ambiance of light and it did smell good, but I felt like you had to get really close to it to smell it remotely strongly. The one cool thing about this candle is that it come with a little spoon… I’m not actually sure what it is for, but its there! We did have to wait a little longer for this one to have a decent amount of melted wax to pour over me. When we got to that point, similarly, it was a nice warm drizzle and not overly hot (an amazing plus). I do feel like this one did start to dry up a little faster than the Kama Sutra candles. Here is where I got really disappointed in this product: it didn’t taste like anything but wax. This is really heartbreaking because part of me wants to try again (which also part of me absolutely does not want me to eat a candle), but the other part of me feels as if I knew this was ging to happen. The one annoying thing about soy candles is that you have to use them or they lose their scents quickly so I half expected the candles to lose their scent (taste?) if I happen to grab one that has been sitting a while. I didn’t hate the experience because I am that *weirdo* that played with wax candles when i was younger and now I have an interest in wax play BUT with what I EXPECTED from the experience was not hit. 2 out of 5 flames for this one.

Massage Lotions

hemp seed by night edible massage lotion in cherry, strawberry or watermelon
Hemp Seed by Night Edible Body Massage Lotions in Strawberry, Watermelon and Cherry

In my last review, I focused more on oils, but in this review, I want to focus more on lotions. These lotions, specifically the cherry and strawberry flavors (scents????), are very new and part of the Hemp Seed by Night Edible Massage Lotion collection we just brought in after one of our visits to a trade show! It is a GREAT alternative to using candles because most (if not all) apartment complexes don’t allow candles (safety hazard), but also, the wax/temperature play may not be of interest to a particular person so why force them to use something they don’t want?

I tried the cherry first and I’m very surprised by and proud of myself because I did not actively start thinking “oh man this is going to taste like medicine” because I didn’t! Good on me for not preparing my body to hate something already but bad on me for NOT doing it because it totally did taste like medicine and I definitely licked a whole ton of lotion off of me without thinking. MAJOR SIDE NOTE: Make sure you FULLY rub in the lotion before tasting it…. I definitely don’t think that it helped that I probably licked have a teaspoon of lotion off myself. Cream licked a little bit off my fingers (which technically was a thin layer) and said it still tasted heavily of cherry medicine. Not to yuk someone’s yum if you do like that flavor, but it is definitely NOT for me.

I tried again with the strawberry lotion…. rubbed it in reaaaaallllllyyyy good, licked off the tiniest bit.. and it till didn’t taste great. Not like medicine, but not the way I would have liked and Cream agreed. This is one thing I probably should have guess though because I tend not to like too many artificial fruit flavors with lubes and oral sex edible products. The one good thing I will say about the Hemp Seed by Night Edible Massage Lotion is that it DOES feel creamy smooth and I enjoyed rubbing that in on me! Overall, I think I would use these lotions when the opportunity presents itself BUT I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy them and I certainly don’t see myself using them for their ‘edible’ expectations ever again. It’s just not for me.

This review in particular truly is a reminder that my reviews are totally subjective so just because I don’t like a flavor (or scent? LIKE WHAT IS IT IF ITS EDIBLE?), that my yuk IS someone else’s yum and don’t be scared to try something just because I said I wouldn’t. Fortunately we have testers in store for the lotions – try them! With the candles, a candle is a candle but if that’s an experience you want to try? I say GO FOR IT! They’re inexpensive products that can be used by anyone and everyone AND they have universal uses so if you don’t like it for massage/wax play, you now have a new candle!

Stay Sexual!

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