Lady Genevieve Reviews the Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbator

Lady Genevieve

King Big Cream and I recently had a conversation about ‘no more big things’ coming home because it has become difficult to find hiding places (sounds like a him problem – I clean and purge all the time). Because of this, breaking to him the news that I had something larger than life in my trunk was a little nerve wracking. “I thought we said no more big things?” and I responded with a “yes, but…” and let him know that it was gifted to us and if he really doesn’t like it, we can say our goodbyes. When I opened up the trunk to my car, I swear to god I saw the shiniest, almost-anime looking eyes I have ever seen. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I finally would be able to provide Cream the butt he always dreamed of humping – the Fuck Me Silly! Mega Masturbator. Various times he told/asked me to get him one (all met with the ‘yea, okay’ response), but he was finally gifted one mostly because we wanted to know one thing: how in the heckin do you clean it?! Right on the box it is advertised “20 lbs. of pussy and ass!” which means this ain’t a sneak to the sink kind of operation. I mean, sure, we do care about getting the ‘inside scoop’ (lol ew I need to stop) on how this mega masturbator works, but our deepest darkest questions involve hygiene.

Where to Begin…

When I first handed the ‘butt’ over to Big Cream, I was honestly SO curious when he was going to start using it and I probably asked him once a day “When are you going to use it? Will you use it tonight?” and so on… he swore he hadn’t yet and said he needed time to miss me/not see me and use it as a temporary fix (EYE ROLL). At this point I would have bet money he’s at least caressed it, maybe even fingered it a bit out of curiosity, at the very least… he did take a picture of it and started sending it and showing it to people so I KNEW he was excited. I may have to make our own non-disclosure agreement for him and some toys he gets..

Finally the day came where I got woken up in the middle of a night by a phone call: “I used the butt.” By the morning I almost wanted to make an appointment to discuss the butt so I knew EVERYTHING. When we finally talked about it this is what was said: “It’s alright….” I was surprised by this myself, JUST ALRIGHT?! If I had a penis, I know I’d helicopter it and probably be sticking it in things all day. How can it just be ALRIGHT!? The first thing Big Cream mentioned was that it just didn’t feel as real – yes it felt good, but it still wasn’t a human butt. Okay, fair. Then he said it’s been a while since he fucked anything that tiny. Again, TINY? You can serve a whole entree and dessert on that ass… What he meant was he prefers ‘big hips’. Okay, I get that. It did take him a while to orgasm because trying to find the right spot to fuck it proved challenging for him and his surroundings, but also he “just wants to be lazy sometimes.” However, he was able to find a spot where he could also prop up his phone to watch porn – good to know for those who can afford the ass, but not the VR goggles. Now, for the part we have all been waiting for….

The Cleanup

While gifted the butt, Big Cream also was provided with the Daisy Douche to see if that would help with cleanup efforts. When our customers come back and mention they purchased the butt (or any other of the Fuck Me Silly masturbators), they also mention they can only clean it by bringing it up to the bathtub. Despite having the douche, it still needed a trip to the tub but mostly because none of the water bottles in the house fit the douche (my guess is that the ‘less plastic’ bottle tops don’t fit as well). He did still use a water bottle to squirt into the butt, but had it draining out in the tub (however, he did say it could also placed on a sink if it has a ledge). Afterwards, he made sure to powder up the butt to make it as good as new for the next time he might use it (yes, he did admit he could see himself using it again if he wants to actively penetrate something). I do want to share this note found on the Fantasy Gifts website about the cleaning instructions:

PLEASE NOTE: In all new RD 174’s manufactured, we’ve made the pussy and ass openings deeper than previous models with thicker walls inside separating the rubber and the foam core. The hole on the backside of the masturbator is for air-release only. This hole does not connect to the pussy or ass and is not a drainage hole. It is designed to let air escape when fucking either the pussy or ass. If you submerge the masturbator completely in water, you will cause damage to the piece because water will get inside and wet the foam core. if the foam core gets wet, the core will shrivel up and get much smaller. You should only clean the masturbator by flushing water in and out through the pussy and ass. The two holes connect, so by flushing water through either hole will cleanse it properly. Do not rinse water through the backside opening and do not submerge the masturbator completely in water.

Final Thoughts

This mega masturbator is made of TPE plastic to give it that ‘real’ feel and comes in 2 color tones: light (flesh) and warmer (brown) skin. It is about 20+ pounds and not as easy to hide – something to really consider when purchasing, especially since it is one of the highest priced toys we carry. This is definitely a product for a specific type of person – and I am not talking about genital owners or sexuality here – it really is for the person who prefers to be active in masturbating than just laying on their back and stroking their penis. Otherwise, I think this is an overall interesting product because it is so different from the strokers and sleeves we normally see/carry. I know I’d be curious to use it if I had a penis (cue Beyonce’s “If I were a Boy”)

Stay Sexual!

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