Improving Your Oral Sex Skills

Oral sex is probably one of the most important parts of foreplay and can make a woman orgasm. It’s also a great way to work your woman up. This tactic can work two fold by increasing her arousal and reducing the pressure on you for not lasting a long time during sex. This article will teach you techniques on how to give a gal oral sex that will leave her breathless and help you find out exactly what your partner likes.

It’s important to remember that everyone is different, and what pleases one person might not do it for another. The best piece of advice that we can give is trial and error. Remember to communicate your desires and simply enjoy the process of getting to know each other. Women love receiving oral sex, and a text book can’t really tell you exactly what will work unless you give it a go. Once you’ve read some advice about what women want, test it out in reality.

Whatever your partner finds pleasurable is exactly what you need to be doing. Don’t just repeat a trick or style you have read, heard or found worked on someone else. A lot of men tend to skip past performing oral sex for their partner, or only do so to receive some in return. It’s a key ingredient when learning how to turn a woman on. Learning a few tips about how to give great oral sex and actually taking the time to get it right, with determination and practice, you can bring some extra spice to the bedroom and really satisfy your woman.

Take Your Time. You might not be the biggest fan of giving, or you may not know exactly what to do to satisfy your partner, so a big mistake that is often made, is that you tend to rush into it and try and get it over with. What we want is for you to start slowly though.

Kiss her lips, neck and make your way down her body until you are kissing her inner thighs. Keep eye contact as much as possible and position yourself in a way that you can caress her breasts from time to time. The idea is to turn her on before you start the oral sex and make her tingle. A bit of teasing works really well here. Try breathing on her, but no licking or touching at first; or teasing her with her clothing on. The build up can drive her wild.

Pace Yourself. When you begin to kiss and lick during oral sex, work your way in slowly from the outside. This will make the feelings more intense and still feel like you’re teasing her. A slow build up creates a much better orgasm. Most women are very sensitive to touch, including any touch performed by the tongue, so start gently and see what your woman wants. The clitoris in particular is packed full of nerve endings so make sure you listen to her signals. Try not to rush into licking the clitoris but when you do, be gentle – especially if she’s not fully aroused.

Explore Her With Your Tongue. The key to giving great oral sex is to keep moving your tongue. If you’re not sure how, keep it flat and lick up the entire vulva and clitoris. You can do an up and down motion or side to side, or a mixture of both (a good reference to practice this motion is by slurping up juice from a peach or plum). If you keep your tongue hard and only use the tip, especially in a sharp flicking motion, then you’re denying your girl the softest, wettest and smoothest part of your tongue.

It’s really important to use the flatter and softer part of your tongue – especially at the start when she may not be fully aroused and not ready for the additional pressure and speed that the tip can bring. You can try Howard Stern’s advice and spell out the alphabet over different areas with your tongue – this keeps the tongue moving in different directions. And don’t forget to change the pace – get faster and more intense if she likes it. The alphabet technique can help you find a movement that she likes by her response to a ‘letter’, then you can keep repeating that letter for a while.

You might occasionally want to gently suck her clitoris, as the suction can give a different sensation. Some women will like this, some won’t. And even if she likes it one day, she may not the next day. You need to be ready to change, be creative, be flexible and keep working at finding what tongue movements, pressure and speed work on a particular girl, on a particular day in a particular setting!

It’s not just the clitoris you need to focus on. Draw that alphabet large over the whole area, then medium and small around different parts. Women enjoy the whole areas being licked, kissed and touched, so don’t get caught up just on the clitoris. Don’t be afraid to suck or lick inside her vaginal cavity too.

Use Your Hands. When giving a woman oral sex, try to get yourself into a position where your hands are free to add an extra element. If you’re able to caress her body and breasts while giving oral, then great. You can also use one hand to slightly lift up the ‘hood’ of the clitoris and reveal the more sensitive part for your tongue to stimulate. Make sure you learn where this is.

If you’re good at multi-tasking – add your fingers into the action and try to stimulate her G Spot! Most women enjoy the build-up. Learn when she’s ready for you to use your fingers as well to intensify the pleasure to the next level. If you go straight in with the fingers at the start then you might ruin the potential for an orgasm that a steady build-up brings.

Communicate. It won’t be easy for you to speak to her while you perform oral sex, but listen to the sounds she makes. We women can be a bit shy, but generally most like to talk and say what we like. If your girl isn’t a talker, check for signs such as heavier breathing, moaning and if she’s holding the top of your head, she may grip harder as she’s closer to climaxing. Look for signals and go faster when she’s close to climaxing, and know when to stop. By this point, your jaw may be aching and your tongue might feel numb but persistence will pay off.

If she’s enjoying it, then stopping as she’s building towards climax just because you have neck ache or a sore jaw or tongue isn’t cool! If you can take the discomfort, you may be more than rewarded by the knowledge that you’ve given her an amazing orgasm.

Try Different Positions.

Try different techniques and see what works for you. Introduce some new positions (such as the 69 where you both perform oral sex to each other at the same time or the man on top and in control). Whatever you do, mix it up and don’t make things feel like a routine. If she doesn’t know what to expect, she’ll be even more turned on, whether the oral sex is for foreplay or for orgasm. Invest in a positional furniture to keep you both comfortable.

Hopefully you’ll have gotten the message by now that the key in learning how to give great oral sex is to not expect any one thing to work from one time to the next. You need to be flexible, creative and responsive. If she doesn’t tell you exactly what works in words, then you need to find out yourself by trial and error and observing her responses to what you are doing. Enjoy the practice, enjoy the experimenting, and enjoy the feel-good sensation when you magically work out exactly what she wants and give a woman an orgasm.

Highlights & Review

Tip #1: Spread the love. She loves it when you focus your attention on the clit. However, if you focus all your attention on one spot, it gets super sensitive bordering on painful. Mix it up! Use your entire tongue. Make it flat. Make it pointy. Make it soft. Make it rigid. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, and you can stimulate them all!

Tip #2: Start off slow. This is not fast food. This is a gourmet restaurant and she wants you to savor every moment. Kiss and nibble her inner thighs, use your lips or your breath on her labia. She feels every little nuance, and it all feels very, VERY good.

Tip #3: Skip the porn tricks. Guys, she is a regular, everyday woman. She is NOT a porn star. Plus, she can tell when you’re using Howard Stern’s alphabet technique (I KNOW you can be more creative than that!). Rather than trying something you saw on the boob tube, keep it simple. Try swirling your tongue around her clitoris in small circles, clockwise and then counter-clockwise. You’ll find the right spot, guaranteed.

Tip #4: Forget the game plan. If you come to the bedroom with a super specific end goal, say giving her a squirting orgasm, it can be a turn-off. Why? Because the moment it becomes goal-oriented rather than pleasure-oriented, she loses interest. Plus, she’ll feel like something is wrong with her if you try really hard and she just can’t get there. If you want her to be comfortable with squirting, try not to focus on it too much. She wants to get lost in the moment, not feel like you are trying to turn her into your favorite webcam girl.

Tip #5: Remember the golden rule. Think of all of the things you love when she goes down on you. Do you love gentle sucking? Nibbling? Light teeth? Deep suction? Great – maybe she does too! GENTLY try those techniques on her clitoris. After all, it is essentially a small penis with double the nerve endings.

Tip #6: DON’T forget the fingers! Once she is good and warmed up, get in there with your fingers! Many women enjoy one or two fingers inside their vagina while you kiss and suck on her clitoris. You may find her thrashing around in your bed from a blended orgasm when try this technique. Just be sure your fingers are very clean and that you have filed down any rough nail edges.

Tip #7: Get INTO it! If she senses you’re feeling the least bit obligated or bored, she will shut down. Please be aware of how vulnerable she may feel lying there with her legs spread and try to be very complimentary and enthusiastic. I promise it will pay off — that little extra effort can turn a self-conscious woman into the lusty, naughty woman you’ve always wanted.

Check out and share our Oral Sex Tips for Him Cards

* This blog was updated on September 6, 2022 to remove or update links and information.

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