Have you ever wished you could make an exact replica of your partner’s penis? Lady Genevieve reviews the Clone a Willy which allows you to make a vibrating version of your favorite dick!
One of the many conversations that Louisa and I have had is that we wish we could just find great dick without the guy attached – no complaining, no talking back, no judgment, no stupid questions, and no taking forever in the bathroom, just good sex all the time. So I took matters into my own hands and cloned myself a willy – the lesser of the weird dildo evils (have you seen the bobble head dildo company or the company that will put your partners ashes into the dildo? I’ll pass). Empire Labs Clone-A-Willy fits perfect into my “it’s for science” speech when dragging Lance into the bedroom to get you Scoopers the DL on products.. only this time it was to the kitchen for this little experiment.
First things first, make sure you have a LOT of time set aside – this can take up to a day and a half to reach full completion. They recommend 8-9 hours for the molding to set (if you’re a perfectionist) and 24 hours for the silicone to solidify. If you don’t have this time and are expecting quick results – this toy may not be for you.
Empire Labs makes it seem like that there are only 4 easy steps to cloning a willy when in fact it is about 13 “easy” steps. I would use the word “easy” lightly if you have the patience of a 5 year old *cough Lance cough*. Along with the time frame needed for the clone to settle, you also have to be very particular with temperature, timing, and placement. The water MUST be 90 degrees exactly and you have to stir the mixture together for 45 seconds prior to sticking your willy in the mold – which you can do right away and not use the 8-9 hour time frame. Make sure you also don’t touch the sides of the tube because this could disfigure the final product. They also don’t list the other tools needed in order to complete this project – measuring cup, large mixing bowl, scissors, disposable container, mixing spoon, and 4” piece of cardboard – until you open up the container. This may not seem like a lot to gather or a huge deal, but when your current partner lives in his own bachelor pad and you have limited time to get this mold completed, don’t expect to have majority of these products because, well, Murphy’s law. Also, I would recommend using an x-acto knife – scissors made the cutting of the tube rigid and we ended up melting the opening so it wouldn’t end up cutting Lance. It looks like they may be using tape around the edges in the illustrations, but they don’t mention using it in their tips and pointers. Some of the biggest feedback our store has gotten has been having difficulty staying hard. Lance didn’t have that issue because we tried to time it out perfectly, but we did have a cock ring on hand just in case – also something they recommend but not until AFTER you’ve opened the container (some people don’t have the opportunity to get to a store so I’m trying to save you the second trip and/or the heart break). Oh, and do this is the bathroom or some place with hard wood floors that you can easily clean up after – YOU WILL MAKE A MESS.
Despite how much work this may seem like right now, if I were to do this again (and I will), I feel like I would be able to mix everything together and time it perfectly without much hesitation. Also, we were laughing so hard during this process and honestly felt like making the dildo was more of a bonding experience than using it. It came out great! It comes with a vibrator that you are “instructed” to place in the middle as the silicone hardens, but I opted out of it and tried to make a base for it for a strap on (and it worked out thankfully). Also, although I would not suggest pulling out your mold early – but Mr. Instant Gratification pulled it out early and LUCKILY it was fine after leaving it overnight. This guy is pretty decently priced; Lance though it was a lot for having to make your own toy but the quality is amazing for doing it yourself. If you’re concerned about not being able to use this because your penis is curved, they even hive instructions online on how to work with this. Empire Labs Clone-A-Willy also comes in 8 colors: skin tone colors (light, medium, and dark), pink, purple, black, and 3 fun glow-in-the-dark colors!
As far as use, it’s a great concept – I mean, it’s a shape and size I enjoy and that works well with my body – but overall, still not a fan of just dildos more masturbating on sex unless I’m using it for a strap-on. I’ve personally had more fun waving it around and making jokes with it than using it for sex, but I also appreciate this product more than any ordinary dildo I can buy off the shelf. My next step? To put googley eyes on him and bring him to family functions, of course! As I have mentioned, it is made of platinum cure silicone (it’s got silicone in it but also more rubbery) and totally body safe. This product would be great for someone who is in the midst of a long distance relationship and missing their partner’s personal piece, but I certainly wouldn’t recommend trying to convince your one nightstand to lend you their penis. I might even consider this an edgy art project for college students if you’re currently in a rut (I’ve used sex in a few of my classes and it went over really well for me). The BEST part about all of this is instead of telling Lance to go f*ck himself, I can just throw the mold at him and he’ll understand.
Although we don’t currently carry the Clone-A-Willy Plus+ (which comes with the thought of replicating testicles as well) or the Clone-A-Pussy, or Clone-A-Pussy Plus+, you CAN always special order through Fantasy Gifts to ensure that everyone has an opportunity to share a part of themselves with someone special. Oh, and the product that we do have consistently flies off the shelf, so if you’re interested, I would stay on top of our stock to make sure you get yours.
This product probably isn’t made for everyone, but if you’re anything like me and use science as an excuse to sleep with your partner, you’ll definitely enjoy this product!
*Full disclosure: this review was written prior to the end of my partnership with Sr. Lance-a-lot.